Tag Archives: dumb crooks

Man Commits Armed Robbery to Get Away from Wife

Yes, this really happened.

A 70-year-old Kansas man reportedly admitted to a September 2016 armed bank robbery incident and now faces up to 20 years in prison, all so he could get away from his wife.  According to the Kansas City Star, Lawrence John Ripple allegedly admitted to going to the Bank of Labor in Kansas City because he was tired of living with his wife after having an argument with her.  Ripple stole nearly $3,000 from the bank, but instead of making his getaway, his real intent was to escape from his spouse… and so he reportedly just sat down in the bank lobby and waited to be arrested.  A security guard reportedly approached him, at which time he identified himself as the guy they were looking for.  On Jan. 23, in U.S. District Court in Kansas City, he pleaded guilty to federal bank robbery.  According to the Kansas City Star:

The robbery was captured on bank surveillance video that showed Ripple hand a note to a teller. The note read, “I have a gun, give me money,” according to court documents.

The teller handed over $2,924, but instead of fleeing, Ripple sat down in the bank lobby.

When a bank security guard approached him, Ripple told the guard that he was the person the guard was looking for, according to the documents. The guard took Ripple into custody and recovered the money that had just been taken.

Hit the jump for a news video on the incident.  Though not on camera, the wife apparently told the reporter they had been married 33 years.

Continue reading Man Commits Armed Robbery to Get Away from Wife

Motorist Attempts to Auto-Shield License Plate from Toll Booth, Gets Arrested

License plate flippers for toll cheats have been pedaled on the black market for a while now.  These are devices which, at the push of a button, flip a license plate, preventing the cameras around toll booths from recording the plate number of the vehicle.  This allows a toll cheat to speed through a toll booth, with authorities unable to verify the vehicle information to determine where to send the bill.   Incidentally, it’s also highly illegal, as a Floria man recently learned first-hand.  His version of the device consisted of a remote controlled black sheet which slid over his vehicle’s license plate.  He was caught in the act as a trooper was immediately behind him in the toll plaza when he kicked it on.

“He was subsequently arrested for petty theft and also for cheating,” Sgt. Montes says.

Cheating is a third-degree felony. “So for $1.25 toll, he now has a felony charge,” Montes explains, “we want to let people know it’s not worth it, pay the toll or don’t use the road.”

Hit the jump for news video of the incident.

Continue reading Motorist Attempts to Auto-Shield License Plate from Toll Booth, Gets Arrested

Woman Tries To Sneak Inmate Out in Suitcase

Antonieta Robles Souda, 25, allegedly tried to smuggle her boyfriend José Antonio Anzoátegui out of the Puente Ayala prison in Barcelona, Venezuela in a suitcase. This seems to be attempted every so often, as another woman also unsuccessfully tried sneaking her husband out of a Mexican prison hidden in a suitcase a few years ago.  José is serving 9 years and 8 months for car theft.  Souda was reportedly allowed to bring the suitcase in for an overnight stay, which is not uncommon at the prison.

Their plan seemed to go smoothly as the woman carrying the bright pink luggage didn’t make the guards suspicious at all, but it all cam crashing down when they eventually noticed the petite woman struggling to pull the seemingly light suitcase out the door. They stopped Antonieta and asked her to open the suitcase so they could check its contents. Left with no option but to comply with the guards’ demand, the woman unzipped the baggage to reveal young José Antonio curled up like a professional contortionist and covered with various clothing items. They provided a poor cover, though.

If only Souda were as strong as her boyfriend is flexible.  Hit the jump for a close-up.

Continue reading Woman Tries To Sneak Inmate Out in Suitcase

U.S. Customs Top 20 Seizures of 2016

U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) recently shared its top 20 confiscations of 2016, posting images of the creative ways smugglers have attempted to transport illegal products – not just drugs – across the border.  Our favorite?  Fake carrots stuffed with marijuana.

In January 2016, CBP in Texas intercepted 2,493 pounds of suspected marijuana concealed in a commercial shipment of fresh carrots. Officers seized 2,817 carrot-shaped packages of alleged marijuana which carry an estimated street value of $499,000.

Hit the jump below for some more crazy photos of tortillas stuffed with meth, coconuts filled with weed, and an entire roasted pig someone tried to get pass customs .

Continue reading U.S. Customs Top 20 Seizures of 2016

Home Alone with Blood


What would scenes of Kevin getting the best of the burglars from Home Alone be like if they also had a healthy amount of blood spatter?  A brilliant amateur special effects wizard took the time to make it so.  The newly edited scenes are actually kind of cool, although it’s a twisted thing to admit.

Hit the jump for three more blood-stained videos.

Continue reading Home Alone with Blood

Motorcycle Riding Thief Steals Phone from Kung Fu Trucker, and Regrets It

In China, a motorcycle riding bandit brazenly stole a trucker’s cell phone but was soon on the receiving end of some gravity-defying kung fu moves by his intended victim.  The trucker has since become something of a national celebrity, who explained he was fed up after his phone had been stolen three times in recent months. Hit the jump for the video.

Continue reading Motorcycle Riding Thief Steals Phone from Kung Fu Trucker, and Regrets It

Quite Possibly the Worst Shoplifter in the World

This thief tried to shoplift a 7 ft. long set of Venetian blinds from a Great Britain store by hiding it under his hooded jacket and down his pants.  Suffice it to say, he was followed by store security as he attempted to walk out, at which point he dropped the blinds and took off running.

CCTV captures ‘shoplifter’s’ hilarious attempt to ‘hide Venetian blind by stuffing it down back of his jacket’ [via The Mirror]

Fugitive Sends Selfie to Police Because He Doesn’t Like his Wanted Photo, Subsequently Captured

An Ohio man wanted for failing to appear in court on a DUI charge sent police a selfie after deciding he didn’t like the booking photos of him posted online by police to assist in his capture. He apparently sent a photo of himself behind the wheel with a cool looking pair of sunglasses, complete with the caption, “Here is a better photo that one is terrible.”

Police responded by putting his selfie online on Facebook as well, noting, “This photo was sent to us by Mr. Pugh himself. We thank him for being helpful, but now we would appreciate it if he would come speak to us at the LPD about his charges.”

Mr. Pugh was subsequently arrested in Florida.

Ohio fugitive who sent police a selfie is arrested [via CNN]

Man High on Acid and Cough Syrup Saves Neighbor’s Dog from Nonexistent House Fire

Yes, this really happened.  A Halfmoon, New York man high on LSD allegedly broke into a neighbor’s home to save a dog… from a fire that only existed in the man’s mind. He drove his black BMW sedan through a fence surrounding the property before breaking through the back door to save the family’s large white dog.

Troopers say 43-year-old Michael Orchard of Inglewood Drive told them he mixed LSD with cough medicine Thursday afternoon and they found him, standing heroically with a dog in his arms outside of what he thought was a giant inferno.

Fortunately, the dog was unharmed by neither the “good Samaritan” or the imaginary blaze.  Before dropping acid he probably should have seen this video of a 1950s housewife describing her experiences with LSD.  Hit the jump for TV news video of the incident.

Continue reading Man High on Acid and Cough Syrup Saves Neighbor’s Dog from Nonexistent House Fire

Did Police License Plate Cameras Help to Solve a Crime?

The above clip from CNN details how a recent Kansas City police murder investigation may have been solved by the help of license plate cameras fixed to the back of many of the city’s police cars. Apparently, the plate numbers are stored in a database with the time, date, and location the vehicle was scanned by the license plate readers. Recently, Kansas City was terrorized by an individual who was randomly shooting area motorists. A 27 year old man has now been arrested; it happened after a female motorist phoned in the man’s license plate information after believeing she was being followed. Police went to their database and found that plate had been used on several different cars in various locations; with additional old-fashioned policework, they arrested their suspect.

Did police cameras help solve a crime? [via CNN]